looks could be deceiving

I have been taught by my mom not to judge any person that I meet along my way. I have no right to do so. WE have no right to do so. And so, each time I meet a new person, I would not give any single adjective that might stab his back. I give my FULL patience to whatever attitude he may show and understand his personality. But, of course, everything has his end and I'm not excused for that. So here's one of my experiences about people whose looks are really deceiving...(Okay now, I'm gonna do this. Not to hurt anyone but to make some things clear. I mean, hey, BE SENSITIVE.)

One.. two.. three.. (oopsiee!! 'bit scared of blogging this, but I can't help it!)

one innocent me: Uhm, can I ask a favor? Could you help us out on _________ for our English project? We'll pay for it.(blank lines are secret.)
mr. pa-asa: Sure. No problem. I can handle that. I'll give it for free, just give me food. Ha! Ha!
one innocent me: Ow, sure? Ok, then, snacks!

THE NEXT MORNING...

one innocent me: Is it done?
mr. pa-asa: Check it.
one innocent me: Hala..where's the _________?( secret! I'm kinda scared he might read this. hehe)
mr. pa-asa: I deleted it. Hindi siya maganda. (It's not nice.)
one innocent me: But, it's alright. W need it.
mr. pa-asa: Kakapagod na! Kelangan ko pang mag-cut tapos andami pang gagawin!(You see, it's quite tiring. I've got to cut the___, then.......)
one innocent me: Sige na..please.. (begging.. as in BEGGING..)

...SILENCE BREAKS...

one innocent me: H'wag na lang. (Disappointed and kinda teary-eyed)mr. pa-asa: Sige na, sige na. Kailan to kailangan? (... conscience speaking out loud)
one innocent me:... bukas po. 10am.. (dissapointed and wanna scream out loud but she can't 'coz she's being patient)Back at my point that "looks could be deceiving". People may be nice at you at first but they won't be forever. Maybe today, you were laughing out at each other's jokes and then tomorrow, you would be spreading out rumors with that same person. I was disappointed that time because he made me believe that he was soooo kind to help us out and did not even ask for any amount for doing our project. I wanna scream at him, but I couldn't. I wanna get mad, but I couldn't because I respect him. Another point I wanna stress out, if you can't help, then don't bother! Human beings are rational creatures. They can always look for alternatives!



Lastly, I really thought this certain person was good and all that. I was wrong. And then I remembered this line, "Don't judge a book by its cover." Certainly, I did not, instead I read his pages! Only then I made my judgment. ;P

my head is battling with my heart

I just can't contain myself anymore. I don't know which side would I take, my heart or my head. Sometimes, I want to follow my heart, but sometimes my head says ,"Hey, get up, silly head! Wake up". Now I'm thinking bipolarish (if that would be the perfect term). One day, I'd say, "Okay, I'm gonna do this." The next morning, "No, I won't ever!". You see? It's difficult when your head is battling with your heart.

I've been to heartaches, but this one left me shattered in pieces. I mean, yeah, I've prepared for this fall, but I did not expect how deep it would be. A stupid guy did not understand what I'm trying to say. I just wanted some space 'coz I can't breathe anymore. I can't breathe the way I used to when we laugh and sing. Something's wrong and we gotta fix it. But too sad, he could have just waited for me. Too late. Another girl caught his eyes and put a different smile on him. I don't know how, I don't know how she did it that my man had just decided to leave me.

I know I don't own any man, so I let him go and just prayed that he would be happy with this girl. And so, that was it. Unexpectedly, we met again for quite sometime. He said they just broke up, and me, surprisingly not surprised (i hope you get me), was just, "Uh, yeah? So, what's up now?" "I'm sorry." That was too late. I just moved on. After all that, you would just say sorry? I mean, I'm a girl, I'm sensitive. Hey, man, you would've done better than sorry, right? And hey, I just said I needed SPACE. I did not tell you to leave. Maybe chance had really told me. You're not worthy of this love.

I admit, I'm still missing you, but the pain and mistrust you gave me just can't leave my brain right now.